| (no subject) |
[Mar. 29th, 2006|08:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Pokemon theme (season 1 - god bless poketom!) | ] |
Bert arose in multiple forms throughout the day.
For a start, Moonunit was late to school. Meanwhile CJ was FORCED to sit next to Myrtle against her will. So they were not in the best of moods on arrival at school. On top of all this, Moonunit for laid her parking space meaning she was forced to park against a fence in a parking space, which shouted "Tramp!"
Furthermore it was raining, which is never good, as all good superheroes know... it weakens their power (i.e. makes their hair frizzy). It also hinders seamless getaways as was later discovered.
CJ and Moonunit congregated at Fort Radiator at 0900 hours as previously planned. Moonunit said her fond goodbyes to AST who was to depart on a covert operation into the land of ice and fire... otherwise known as the Burma Star. Moonunit needed extreme consoling from CJ as she was distraught and unsure if she could carry on for the rest of the day. CJ had to think fast to raise Moonunits spirits as her participation was necessary to achieve seamless equilibrium for the rest of the day. Fortunately Miller came to the rescue with an extreme epiphany moment in which she threw a large bag of mini eggs to CJ. CJ opened the bag and saved Moonunit from a fate worse than death (namely depression/ hunger) by emptying the whole bag into her mouth.
The assembly proved to be a hindrance in the seamlessticity of the whole day which was a Bert. After assembly Morris proved her biasticity towards the SAHS for girls- (Initium sapientae timor domini)- by not wishing CJ and Moonunit goodbye or good luck for their journey. They waited for what felt like an age for her to come but her appearance was greatly lacking. So they sent her a goodbye text... donned their utility belts and prepared for another whirlwind adventure (i.e. bunking school again).
They performed their usual feat of acrobatics to escape from the evil clutches of SAHS for girls (Initium sapientae timor domini). They leapt into Moonunits car, ensuring the presence of much food e.g. Hula Hoops, muffins, bourbons, gingerbread bunnies, ribena, capri sun, sweets, half a boost bar etc etc etc.
They raced down Townsend Avenue with the wind ruffling their hair, once again narrowly missing Marguerite, god bless that luminous jacket.. .without she's surely be dead. They tooted at some people who they barely knew as drove past, purely because they could. And thus they commenced the neverending journey into the abyss of things outside SAHS for girls (Initium sapientae timor domini). They were nervous yet excited about what the wide world could possibly have in store for them... but they knew whatever life threw at them they would survive because they were together. Finally the lifelong question had been answered, they now knew what a CJ was... and more importantly... what a Moonunit was.
After a brief moment of hesitation, they inserted their good friend poketom who was sure to help them on their journey. They had to wait while he donned his own utility belt in order to help them fight crime for yet another day. They tutted, as his lack of prior preparation grated on their seamless minds like... well a grater actually. Poketom was initially a little rusty as he wrongly directed them down a closed road. CJ and Moonunit were greatly distressed at poketoms blatant lack of respect for the situation but were quick to forgive as he redeemed himself. After some stage 3 forward slash 4 Lacarbs, they were ready to hit the open road (jack and don’t come back no more no more no more no more etc.)
Motorway driving heightened their already soaring moods especially with tunes a-blaring due to Moonunits prior preparation of multiple CD's. Moonunits perfected driving skills made the trip feel effortless and the comfort of the rather large Peugeot 106 made the experience all the more satisfactory. They made a brief (an hour) stop at Linton Zoo services... well a little chef and a garage, where they waited at a sign for eons of time. When they finally were seated by crazy-eye-ring-pierced-guy they enjoyed a feast of chicken, bacon and cheese paninis, chips and an apple juice each. They really pushed the boat out spending a whopping £8.73!
They continued on their whirlwind adventure with the intention of making a pit-stop at the lorry-making-place. Poketom led them on a fantastic nature exploration in which they drove through turkey avenue at speeds exceeding 100mph as turkeys leapt at them from all directions, attacking the car with their grimy talons and diamond hard beaks; eyes a-bulging as they sensed young flesh in the car. Those who did not originally hit the car, sprinted alongside it at great speeds until they had gathered enough momentum to hurl themselves at it for a second time. The term "Suicide Turkey" sprang to mind... but then again... one mans "Suicide Turkey" is another mans "Freedom Turkey". But we have become sidetracked from the main issue.
On arrival at the lorry-making-place CJ and Moonunit were almost deceived by a witch of a woman driving a gargantuan HGV truck with what could only be described as bombs attached to all sides of the mechanical vehicle. They could have sworn they saw a detonator in the witch's hand but they didn't want to band wild accusations around willy nilly. They were told to return at precisely 1500 hours later that day. CJ and Moonunit left the scene with their suspicions aroused. Not even turkey woman, who CJ and Moonunit soonly realised had been controlling the turkeys and their maliciously haphazard behaviour while they had been driving, could pull the wool over their eyes. They knew she was up to something and vowed to return with a vengeance and possibly more utility articles.
Further along the road less travelled (by anyone) they went. Until finally, Moonunit to her sheer horror realised that time was of the essence as they were late to convene with Prof. Shaver, Moonunit's mentor and confidante. So they raced further down the road less travelled until they reached the unknown forests of Norrigde. On their way they passed the strange fangorn like creation that was "Emily's Wood" and the idyllic yet clearly murderous world of Brandon. They spent a little time with Prof. Shaver and her latest prodigy Fred (we don't have high hopes) before departing again.
CJ and Moonunit had formulated a plan in which to expose the extremities of turkey woman but when they reached her lair all they found was a galority of turkeys as she had fled the crime scene in her murderous vehicle. Papa Smurf, who they had previously arranged to meet there, had checked out her back story which proved to be all lies. He said in an ominous tone, whilst munching on a scotch egg, "It's down to you CJ and Moonunit, you must save the day!" In the distance they saw a swarm of turkeys joining forces and gathering momentum in order to annihilate CJ and Moonunit once and for all. Knowing no fear, CJ and Moonunit leapt into the trusty Peugeot 106, dark blue in colour with a black interior like the heart and soul of the turkeys. They raced down the lanes in hot pursuit of turkey woman narrowly missing the decoy turkey who stood, eyes a-bulging, mid carriageway; drooling.
They found turkey-woman who had fortunately broken down at the side of the road, explosive devices and all. They confidently approached. (note small sentence for impact). It was clearly a stand off between turkey lady and our heroes. But then.... disaster stuck as turkey woman lashed out with a turkeyed claw, smiting the mighty Moonunit. Moonunit fell to the ground with an almighty crash!!!! CJ did not lose her cool even though she thought fo sho her comrade had met her untimely disturbing demise. in one swift movement CJ descended upon Moonunits lifeless form in the desperate attempt to find a pulse. Alas, one could not be found. CJ reached down into the depths of her utility belt and pulled out the ELIXIR OF LIFE (tesco value lemonade, retail price 17p). She poured the effervescing liquid into Moonunits lifeless yet surprisingly open mouth with one hand, while with the other was locked in an epic battle with turkey woman. Moonunit sprang to life and pulled out her light sabre, thrusting it into the armpit of turkey woman who fell to floor dead. They stood triumphantly over her dead yet quivering body. Neither CJ nor Moonunit showed any signs of long term damage so they strolled leisurely back towards the Peugeot 106, CD player fitted as standard, to continue the perilous journey home.
It was uneventful, with few minor LaCarbs not even worth mentioning. Yet deep in their hearts they were plagued with regret as they had not microwaved any turkeys for dinner. They were stuck with potatoes with beans (sugar and salt free) with a light sprinkling of extra mature cheddar cheese and olive oil.
It had been a good wholesome day for CJ and Moonunit. No seams had been visible throughout the day. "A seamfree day" Moonunit concluded as she licked the olive oil enrobed spoon dry, or at least damp. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 22nd, 2006|06:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | (hollyoaks on the TV) | ] |
...... today was not one of CJ and Moonunits best days... for a start, the assembly lasted about 3 hours and was about...... erm.......... they weren't sure... but it was not good! CJ and Moonunit concluded that the school are in fact trying to kill them through boredom... and various other things...
For some reason, CJ came to school, despite only having one lesson... when this lesson was cancelled; Moonunit bore the brunt of CJ's rage (note use of semi-colon). This was a Bert... so they devised a foolproof plan to outwit the system (school)
Their plan consisted of many intricate details, timed to perfection, which needed to be carried out with the utmost caution for the plan to work. For a start, it involved missing games... this was a Bert, as it seemed to be the case that Mr Stanford, who takes Moonunit for golf, was following her all day! Whenever he came past, she had to "think fast" and either run away or hide... this did earn her some strange looks! Moslty from CJ!
So anyway... on with the plan... first they went to cancel Moonunit's German assistant lesson with Annette, which was harder then expected! After that, they grabbed their bags and books (well CJ's books, Moonunit doesn't know what books are) and started the long and perilous walk to the car. They got to the double doors without too much trouble, but when it came to the wall, Bert arose. Teachers were swarming around the 6th form block like hungry fish... just waiting to pounce on them... the Mission Impossible theme tune seemed to be playing from somewhere as CJ and Moonunit donned their sunglasses, black outfits and utility belts. They leapt over the wall in one swift movement and army cralled past the dining room before performing an amazing feat of acrobatics to dodge some of the teachers. CJ and Moonunit ran up Townsend Avenue and into the car park where Moonunit had cunningly reversed her car into a space (!) for a quick getaway.
Once out of the car park, it was pedal to the metal to get away from the danger zone, which is SAHS…, just when they thought they were safe, Mrs Patel ran out into the road screaming at them to stop. This was a Bert because she takes CJ for games. CJ ducked down to hide herself. It was a stand off between Mrs Patel and Moonunit in her car. She revved it... trying to intimidate Mrs Patel into moving but she didn't even flinch. Moonunit made a swift decision.... she quickly reversed the car (wheel spin of course) then pulled the most amazing of handbrake turns. CJ and Moonunit then proceeded to race the wrong way up Townsend Avenue, swerving to miss Marguerite who was standing in the middle of the road as usual. Good job she was wearing her high visibilty jacket or they would almost certainly have hit her. CJ and Moonunit screeched on up the road laughing defiantly. Moonunit checked in her wingmirror... and yes, Mrs Patel was eating their dust. CJ and Moonunit high-fived in elation and proceeded up the road.
They were now safe... and drove problem free to CJ's house, and to a feast of chocolate biscuits and juice. The only problem was that they were plagued with feelings that this day had not been as seamless as the rest and they made a vow that from now on... they would strive to always be seamless. However, they both knew they'd be in for sleepless nights with the horrors of just how unseamless they'd been.
x much love x |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 21st, 2006|09:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | enthralled | ] |
| [ | music |
| | hymms | ] |
Today started well… Moonunit managed to get to school on time… and assembly was a blur of talking about boring stuff which no one except maybe Ali Burns and Jasmine Chana really listened to.
Then CJ and Moonunit parted to go to lessons… which were a bit of a waste of time if we are being 100% truthful.. Which we are!… but there was light at the end of the tunnel! They bought 5 squishy biscuits with eons of choc chips for break… and ate them ALL at fort radiator… people drifted to see them and went again… it was all a blur of emotion, as they had found possibly the perfectest biscuits.
………. Lunch brought the French assistant… so CJ went to see her… abandoning Moonunit, and leaving her to face the harsh world by herself… Moonunit only coped with the intense pain of separation by lying on the floor… thinking about CJ.
Then Moonunit and CJ went off on another whirlwind adventure as they braved the arctic conditions of the outside world… on a mission to buy supplies for enrichment. They donned their ski outfits and balaclavas in the hope of gaining the small prize of sweets. By the time, they had gotten ready to go outside, time was of the essence, and CJ realised in horror that they were in fact running late! In blind confusion and panic, they rushed (walked) outside and towards Woolworth’s. The bitter wind tore at their clothes and rattled their bones as they trudged wearily on… towards the oasis in the desert. On reaching Woolworth’s, they grabbed handfuls of supplies… who knew when we would see food again!
Unfortunately there was a major bert at the checkout when the imbecile of a checkout boy (who lets face it probably didn't even stay at school long enough to get GCSE's) had severe troubles checking throug a bag of salt and vinegar walkers crisps (retail price 36p). CJ realised that time was flashing by and screamed the codeword at the top of her lungs "BBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTT". Moonunit repsonded and hurried the checkout boy who seemed to move slower than ever. So they told him to forget about the crisps and he responded in his disjointed speech, "You can't leave the shop in the middle of a transaction... it's against store policy." And still he couldnt put the crisps onto the till. So in one swift movement Moonunit swept up what they had already paid for as CJ threw the crisps into checkout boys face. They fled from the scene screaming "Screw your store policy!!!"
Facing the cruel elements again, the brave CJ and Moonunit made it back to school… suffering from severe hypothermia. Immediate treatment was crucial, to avoid the risk of gangrene, amputation and even worse, an injection!
To Moonunits horror, she noticed that she had a huge gaping bite on my arm… which I realised she must have sustained during the rat incident yesterday. After close inspection, CJ and the nurse informed her that she had in fact not only caught rabies form the rat, but also contracted MRSA yes that's right the hospital super bug which the rat was mysteriously carrying, which will certainly curtail the length of her life!
Luckily, there was a light at the end of the tunnel for Moonunit… She was given a free mug by the nurse, as I had been diagnosed with three diseases in one day!
After a long day... Moonunit and CJ returned to their HQ's for a debreifing and proceeded to relax in their rooms. Not long now till MI5 realise what they missed out on when they turned down CJ and Moonunit. Hahahahaha - what a mistake!!!
Much Love
xxxxxxxxx |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 20th, 2006|08:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  (of the rat) | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ..the stars sing to us.. jupiter in particular is exquisite | ] |
Today was a bert in itself really!
For a start RS ended late, which meant Sara was waiting in the corridor for me…
So then we went to the hall to get food… after careful deliberation, we weighed up the pros and cons of each slice and then bought 2 slices of pizza. I decided on a biscuit, so I asked Sara to pick out one which was “squidgy and with eons of chocolate”…. Sara managed to pick up a good one which did in fact fit into the job description!
So then we went upstairs to the radiator fort… and ate one slice of pizza (the best one) and the biscuit. We were waiting for Pav when disaster struck… this GIANT rat leapt out of the nearby locker room and seeing us, started to charge at us. The rat was about 6 foot long and had huge glinting teeth which shone in the corridor lighting. On seeing us, it gave an evil snarl and a yelp before leaping at us n snatching the pizza rite from our hands.
We chased it down the corridor then had a full scale wrestle. Jess rugby tackled it to the floor and put it in a headlock while I snatched the pizza from its foaming mouth. Amidst the struggle, it scratched us both to pieces… and smashed up the corridor around us. It was a defiantly a near death experience
After that, we cleaned the slice of pizza and gave it to Pav.
The rest of the day was uneventful as I went home and Sara had ict. Which produced no Bert’s… I am told (note the DIRECT quote) that mrs Wright said “where is moonunit?” but.. I am not clear on it yet… I must check with my sources!!!
that’s all for now!
xmuch lovex |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 28th, 2006|03:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | creative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | coldplay | ] |
hey we are Cj and Moonuint....
we are new to this... but we hope you enjoy reading our antics!
xmuch lovex |
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